


Making amendments

by Glowing_dimp_as_an_ember



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, Mortal AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 06:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10714143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glowing_dimp_as_an_ember/pseuds/Glowing_dimp_as_an_ember
Summary: Words left Nico’s mouth at a considerably fast speed, he didn’t want to give time to his mind to back away, to start overthinking. It wasn’t the time for regrets, it was time to make amendments.





	Making amendments

A defeated sigh escaped from his lips as the deadly silent apartment welcomed inside, the usually cheerful and bright environment having been replaced by a gloomy aura, no lights present to help him make his way through the shadows in any way. Nico couldn’t recall when was the last time the place looked so void of life, his mind couldn’t seem to come up with any situation when that had been the case, even before the flat had become a property of his the rooms always appeared to have life of his own. The brown eyed wondered, as his melancholic glance analyzed his grim surroundings, what exactly had been the cause of it suddenly being stripped of all the colorful energy he had always linked to the area. In all honesty, he could make himself an idea.

It had been an accident, he hadn’t meant for it to happen, it just… It just did, he was there for a moment and then, the following second, just in the blink of an eye, his mouth decided to start spilling out words out of control, not giving his brain enough time to actually think about what he was saying and he cursed himself for that. _You did it again_ , Nico thought for what possibly was the third time in a row as he somewhat hesitantly moved his arm to turn a few of the lights of the narrowed corridor on, a previously hidden path making its way towards him, _you managed to blew something important once more_.

He felt a sudden wave of anger rushing through his veins, fueling the anger he could feel growing inside of him even more, making it impossible for the owner of the dark chocolate irises to see a color other than red, the exact same thick shade that he could imagine his fearsome blood being: angry, unmerciful. If only he had controlled his emotions back on that moment, if only he had kept them in line when every single one of his actions mattered to the current scene being played out on reality. It was somewhat ironic the more he thought about it: Nico was in hat exact position simply because he couldn’t help but getting angry at the wrong person and there he was now, getting angry over it. He assumed, however, that this time it was justified, the wrong person wasn’t being given the blame; he had been the one at fault, nothing could change that.

Nico closed the door behind him as silently as possible, leaning his weight against its polished wooden surface, exhausted. He wasn’t exactly certain when it had all started to go downhill, his mind had felt disconnected from his body under all the stress he had been under lately, the overwhelming amount of tasks he had to do and how little he had managed to actually accomplish had simply started to be too much for him to handle. It was funny in a way, it must be one of those weird moves of destiny, how on his attempt to not involve anyone on his own personal problems he had actually ended up dragging a bunch of people he really cared about to the mess that was his life at the time.

His steps echoed louder as he walked further into the place, the peculiar sounds produced by his shoes bouncing rather forcefully against the walls surrounding him, reminding him of what he had done, actions he was not particularly proud of. He wished he could take them back, how he wanted to turn back time to prevent those hideous words from ever leaving his mouth, yet he knew he couldn’t, he wasn’t even sure if he could undone the damage or if it was even the type that one could attempt to undo. The lack of joyful noises as well as the symphony produced by the strings he had grown really used to hearing on a daily basis since the person he shared apartment with moved along was already a pretty bad sign of their own.

He tiredly rubbed his eyes, gently massaging his closed eyelids in a vain attempt to lower the tension he could feel concentrating around his temple area, trying to turn his thoughts into a more coherent version of themselves, one that didn’t reassemble to some extend a puzzle constructed with the right pieces but in a horrendous and almost unbelievable order that simply just demanded a ration of common sense. Nico muttered a curse to himself under his breath, a pretty obvious hint of annoyance present on his voice as well as his infuriated deadly stare, on that he somehow attempted to project to his past self. In his current mood, the Italian was more than determinate to build a time machine if necessary if that could mean smacking himself in the head for not thinking about the obvious consequences his actions would bring along.

His feet absently led him towards his room, the same room from where usually particularly weird melodies tented to come from, providing the apartment with some, certainly unique no matter who one were to ask, background music, the same room that now appeared to be mourning the loss of something important behind the closed plain door. He would have to admit the mood and feelings that every object of the place seemed to hold would pretty much also match his own if they weren’t the same to begin with.

A deep breeze of cold air entered his lungs, bringing momentarily calm and a new sense of strength to his tired heart, enough energy and determination needed to tighten his grip on the knob of the door, which was progressively becoming stickier and stickier the more his nervous hold wavered. Millions of possible scenarios flashed through his mind, every single probable bad outcome stopping by to taunt him unmercifully, smirking at the concept of driving his brain to the brink of insanity, long past the point of no return.

He quickly shook his head, forcing all of the negative thoughts to one of the darkest corners of his head once again.  That, however, didn’t make the possibility of any of the scenes showed to him particularly less likely, statement that didn’t quite managed to calm down his agitated breathing or frenetic heartbeat. The extremely dense air surrounding himself also didn’t help stop his tendency to overthink, which had decided to act up even more than the usual in the specific position he was in.

Nico wasn’t certain of what exactly to expect behind the closed yet unlocked door, although he knew for a fact that no matter what he was technically preparing himself for, he would never actually be ready, an imaginary situation, no matter how painful, is simply still that: imaginary, a product constructed by an uncontrollable hurricane of angry thoughts; the wounds that might come from them have yet to compare to the actual real life result which was clearly as unpleasant if not getting to blur the lines of certain extremes.

The person he dreaded encountering could be inside the room, highly unlikely if one were to ask him since the terms the ended up their previous interactions were anything but what one would call as friendly. The knot on his throat tightened its grip on his vocal chords, choking him with guilt and regret. If the other was inside at least Nico would have an opportunity, a chance to correct his obvious mistakes; he wasn’t really certain if he was ready to face the owner of the broken blue eyes, heartbreaking image that apparently had been tattooed on his eyelids as a constant reminder of what he did wrong.

It must as well be the opposite case: that the blond was not waiting for him inside and he was simply being somewhat hopeful. He wouldn’t blame his flatmate if that were to be the case, he knew for a fact that, if the roles had been reversed, he would have not planned on placing a foot inside the environment he was meant to inevitably share with someone that had wronged due to not evident reasons, or at least ones that were not under his control.

Nico wasn’t certain which scenario he feared the most happening.

His glance focused on the door knob intensely, almost as if expecting it to bite his hand off. Nothing happened, nothing except he soon felt the anxious feeling on the pit of his stomach growing out of control. Whatever path reality had decided to take, he would have to face it eventually, and the moment for him to search for courage and screwing to the sticking place was now.

The entrance opened easily under his touch, not really having been fully closed to begin with, fact that didn’t really come as a surprise to the brown eyed, there was barely any current of air running through the halls of the place he usually called home. However, what did indeed manage to reduce the dark haired to a state of stupefaction was the sight in front of him visible once he stepped inside the room: on top of the bed, partially buried under a bunch of messy looking blankets illuminated faintly by the delicate moonlight coming from the window, laid the barely moving blond.

Apparently, Nico noticed shortly after, his steps hadn’t been as silent as possible judged by the way the lump before his glance jolted slightly on its very place, the living being inside the covers that shielded him from the outside world hesitantly turning around to face him, the pair of crystal looking blue irises fixing their attention on the dark haired. “Oh, you… You are here.” Will said in a somewhat quiet mumble, his tired eyes looking away briefly towards the ground before glancing up at him again, not having really moved from his position. “I didn’t expect you to come until later…”

Their so far short interaction faded off, words vanishing into silence as they both were unsure of what exactly to say, how exactly to proceed after having collided the way they did earlier that day. Clearly it wasn’t the best of scenarios, the past haunted the two in different ways, neither was willing to take the risk and, perhaps even unknowingly after it was way too late, take a step in the wrong direction.

“It’s already kind of late.” Nico spoke, not certain of where exactly was he even going with his response, what was he trying to archive. He just knew that he had to try something, whatever it came to mind would probably be useful, anything that might help them not to slip into eternal silence as well as the sense of awkwardness he knew would end up tagging along. “You should go back to sleep, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” He continued after taking a deep breath, his thoughts rushing to think about possible ideas that might contribute to keeping the conversation alive.

It’s not as if he hadn’t thought of what to say while on his way home, while driving to his final destination, his mind had made its personal task to come up with every single possible line of dialog the other must say and what he should probably say back, going over and over through all of them non-stop almost as if rehearsing for different plays at the exact same time. But, in the current moment, did his brain recall any of them? No, clearly not at all or the environment surrounding him would not be as tense as it was. The brown eyed was about to bang his head against the wall besides him in frustration when he heard the other speak.

“Did you mean it?” Will broke the silence, hesitation obviously present on his voice, perhaps because he felt the weight of the conversation over his shoulder... Although it could have as well been due to the fact that the answer to the question he had shot to the air might be one he might not particularly like, especially when considering Nico’s previous words. After not receiving any sort of response, verbal or not, for what seemed to be an eternity though only a few seconds had passed, the blond found some shattered pieces of strength within himself that he used to then ask a more specific question, one that matched to some extend the statements that left the Italian’s mouth some hours back, his voice wavering. “Have you… Have you really grown to hate me?”

Nico wasn’t exactly certain what wrecked him more: the way the other’s voice had broken while demanding for answers, how the blue eyes with the bright shade he had grown to love looked so void of light and joy or how it all was because of him. The fact that he was unable to choose spoke on its own.

“I would never hate you.” The dark haired said as soon as he put himself together, or tried to as best as he could, after that slap from reality.

“But you don’t feel the same anymo-” Will started to say, although the rest of his sentence would be left unheard and lost forever as he was interrupted by the Italian’s voice, whose owner had hesitantly walked towards the bed to then proceed to sit down besides the blond in a somewhat unsure manner.

“I didn’t mean what I said, I was being an idiot and… And I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said what I did.” Words left Nico’s mouth at a considerably fast speed, he didn’t want to give time to his mind to back away, to start overthinking. It wasn’t the time for regrets, it was time to make amendments. “I was just really stressed and the fact that I had had very little sleep these previous days didn’t really help me get a strong grip on reality. I’m not… I’m not trying to justify myself, I was being unfair to you. I’m really sorry.”

Nico bit the inside of his cheek lightly, his fingers reaching for the familiar form of the skull ring on his hand, trying to find any sort of comfort, anything that might help to calm himself down. Were the words he had pronounced even enough? He honestly doubted it but it was the best he could say, he just… He just wasn’t sure of what to do, at the end, the brown eyed assumed it wouldn’t matter that much, would it? He somehow always managed to wreck everything one way or another at the very end.

“It’s alright, it’s not important anymore. It’s in the past.” Will said with a small shrug as he slowly sat down, the couple of blankets that were previously covering him hanging from his broad shoulders.

“But it is! It is important and it was certainly not alright!” Nico exclaimed, his sudden outburst making the other’s blue eyes focus their attention on his expression, clearly in a state of surprise due to the unexpected of the action The dark haired let out a quiet sigh, slowly massaging the bridge of his nose for some brief moments. “I was being irrational and ended up taking out my frustrations on you.” He let out a quiet, soft, breathy chuckle, trying to lighten up the gloomy environment although it was also an obvious sign of his nervousness. ”Perhaps you were right, you know? I was being pretty dramatic. The more I think about it, I was being sort of an idiot.”

“But you were being an adorable idiot.” The blond mumbled, nervously passing a hand through his tangled light locks as he glanced at the other with the corner of his eye, the corners of his lips tugging up lightly, a small smile that glimmered faintly starting to make a shy appearance. The gesture, however, wavered slightly, almost as if it was all part of a dream and Nico was just about to wake up from the delightful illusion with a bittersweet taste on his mouth. “Are we alright? For real?”

“I really want us to be, I want to believe we are.” Nico admitted, gently squeezing the other’s hand, his thumb slowly caressing its skin in a reassuring manner. His mind traveled to all of those times when he could have done better, when perhaps he could have tried following a different route so the situations would have had better results, all those ways he, at least thought, had let Will down. “How can you not hate me?” He found his voice asking out loud before he could even try to stop himself.

Blue eyes searched for his own dark chocolate irises, a hint of surprise present on their soft stare, clearly not having expecting that certain question but already knowing the answer to it.

“How can I hate someone that I’m in love with?”

**Author's Note:**

> [I'm also on tumblr](http://glowing-dimp-as-an-ember.tumblr.com/)


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